im sorry in being a comedy nerd here
@triz Ive heard jokes described as a release of tension. Something unexpected happened but its all okay!
and if you're in an unsafe enviroment, that tension is never going to be released. its why an 'offensive' joke from someone you trust can be funny because you know there is no malice behind the pun. But even a milder 'joke' from someone you suspect believes what they're saying... thats not going to be funny.
im sorry in being a comedy nerd here
@diffractie @triz a trusted friend saying something offensive in a way you're both comfortable with can really strengthen your relationship too- they trust you enough to make the joke to you, you understand that trust