a joke is a special kind of lie you tell when you trust your audience
this is part of why asshole men don't believe women are funny. because they don't fucking calm down around women enough to create that space where jokes happen
i did not invent this idea, i don't remember who posted it, i think it was someone on here? but it makes a lot of sense to me
im sorry in being a comedy nerd here
@triz Ive heard jokes described as a release of tension. Something unexpected happened but its all okay!
and if you're in an unsafe enviroment, that tension is never going to be released. its why an 'offensive' joke from someone you trust can be funny because you know there is no malice behind the pun. But even a milder 'joke' from someone you suspect believes what they're saying... thats not going to be funny.
im sorry in being a comedy nerd here
@diffractie @triz a trusted friend saying something offensive in a way you're both comfortable with can really strengthen your relationship too- they trust you enough to make the joke to you, you understand that trust