🚨 No, Jorts is not on 3.0. I fucked up over the holidays and didn't get the updates to go through. That being said, at least one instance that theoretically shouldn't see us, seems to be able to see us. i'll try to update us this weekend, if i can get my shit together 🚨

SOOOOOO I HOPE Y'ALL CAN SEE OUR EXCELLENT CONTENT IN THE MEANTIME

🐎

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@seafrog my suspicion is that jorts is so fundamentally broken that features which are supposed to make us not federate are straight up ignored

like the world's jankiest, rustiest, junker of a car, reeking of flood waters and none of the electronics do what they're supposed to do, but by odin not a single one of your ANTI CAR countermeasures do a godsdamned thing to it

@killeveryhetero ok i enjoy the metaphor but may i recommend: the grumpiest, mangiest, wonkiest horse. he will let u ride him, and sometimes he will go in the direction u want but it is a Lie and he will absolutely get in a hot air balloon and take u for a ride at the slightest whim of his janky little hooves

@seafrog to be honest i was somewhat specifically referring to my shitbucket honda civic i drove through floodwaters up to my doorhandles

all the electronics, one by one, winked off, including the radio, AC, and headlights, but the damned thing kept going until i got to high ground and waited for 5 minutes, at which point the electronics started coming back one by one in reverse order

now the AC settings buttons do random things instead of what they're meant to, and take effect 1 minute late

@killeveryhetero ok i fucking love ur honda civic and i would die for it

my partner has a mini and if u drive thru a big puddle then the fanbelt slips and the alternator stops charging the battery and all the electronics start going out :')) (or at least i think that's it, i am not good at cars) and i love it very much. in my mums car which i drove for a while, u have to take the fuse out at night or the battery runs down, and if u forget to put it back in the speedo doesnt work

@seafrog here's some pics out the window when it happened but this was the LEAST WORST part of the floodwaters, like literally half as high, cuz i'd already gotten through the hellwaters at this point

@killeveryhetero do u wanna see the pics from where i managed to lift two wheels of a big white truck off the ground by sliding under it with my nissan micra

@seafrog the entire city of new orleans is gonna be underwater in about 15 years

time to get the fuck out while we still can cuz 5G blocks nasa weather satellites and we won't see the next Katrina coming

...and yes of course I wanna see the pics

@killeveryhetero new orleans is fuckin beautiful tho, i love everything about it honestly - the swamps, the bourbon street kinda architecture, everyone is batshit insane. its great

@seafrog tryna maybe move to philly this year cuz it's got a lot of the same insane new orleans energy with less ... swamp

@killeveryhetero blah blah swamp weather bad, there are RACCOONS that are friends with ALLIGATORS and they both LOVE MARSHMALLOWS!!!!!!!!!

@seafrog it's like living in a sauna except someone dumped their trash in the corner right next to wherever the hot shit in a sauna comes from i don't know i'm not a Sauna Genius so there's a nice murky hot wet Garbage Aura around you at all times and all places

my parents ARE accidentally feeding 3 raccoons and an opposum though, when they were trying to feed a stray cat

@seafrog to be fair parts of philly also smell like garbage

the hilaripressing part is when me and @dubsteppenwolf visited philly we both got homesick when we were walking downtown and passed a wafting Garbage Aura and we were like "why the fuck am i suddenly homesick wait YOU TOO? ....... OH MY GOD ITS THE TRASH SMELL"

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glitterkitten

sparkle sparkle, bitches