The thing about 'not all men' is it's something men bark at people who are lashing out at the group that's hurting them. Trying to separate themselves and remove any affiliation.

All it does is tell those people to shut up while doing nothing to change the structures that allow toxic masculinity to continue that original victimisation. Step in and tell fellow men to stop, that it's not ok, instead of telling people, especially women, you're not like the others so how dare we get angry about it.


If I'm annoyed because of the ill behaviour of numerous men in a way that's something I have been subjected to for years upon years, you going 'well that's unfair, I'M not like that' does nothing, you've just made it about you when, if you're not like that, it's not about you in the first place.

It's like insisting you get a cookie for not being a dickhead.

Maybe resist going 'not all men' at the not all men post, guys

Like honestly, of all the posts to try not to do it at, the one that tells you why it's bad is right at the top of the fuckin list

(I'd still like a cookie though... Okay nevermind)

@sophia I'm not at all surprised you posted to call this out and then someone immediately went and did it anyway

Officially in love with this post. You have absolutely nailed jt here.

@AudreyJune it annoys me so much. The amount of harassment men dish out, around other men, and no one steps in. No one has a word with a mate going too far, it's always excuses and it's 'oh he's just a bit forward' but you make a remark about men? Boy are they there to make sure you know they're innocent 😬

@AudreyJune also the not all men reply was fucking delicious 🙃

@sophia @AudreyJune the worst thing is being a woman around men who see you as one of them and thus spew forth all the same crap they say when no women are present. it is gross

@ThatWallflower @AudreyJune never fails to make me cringe when I end up hearing some of it. That said just the things they'll say directly when they think they have some situational upper hand.. *shudders*

@ThatWallflower this is so relatable & it's always bothered the shit outta me! the way men compartmentalize their garbage so they can ~act~ decent around women is creepy af.... it's kinda too much to unpack

Sorry I'll have to not all men in. One day a colleague made comment on the waitress, and we were 3 to tell him his attitude was not right

I don't need no parade. I know I was right and need no approval from anyone.

No I'm not. I don't know who you are and don't give a damn.

@ScriptFanix @sophia @AudreyJune

Newsflash bro: this is not about you, and you feeling the need to throw your random-ass anecdote in here just shows you care more about showing people you're a Good Guy™ than addressing the very real problem of structural sexism and similar inequalities. Weak af.

@sophia @AudreyJune
Every man profits from institutionalized sexism in one way or another, saying "notallmen" really just shows how little they understand about this society - and how badly they want to pretend their privilege doesn't exist so they don't have to face the fact that they are part of the problem.

How to trans men fit into this tho? Frequently they are the same targets and they don't magically start benefiting from the same system as cis men when they aren't seen by that system as "real men"

@Corax @mooncube I think generally when people talk about men being shit it's really more about the average.

@sophia I won't make friends on this, but since you bring the topic, and say « you », I'll consider I can mansp… bring my point of view : can you consider that (a part of) those 'not-all-men' are poping, because they've been bullied themselve (or still are) by the very same dickheads ? And understand how being associated with its own oppressor can hurt ?

Man life is like « oppress » or « be oppressed » (and, yes, often both).

@Lanza as someone else being oppressed by them, I shouldn't have to take stock of every individuals circumstances in order to express my pain at being oppressed by a socially privileged group.

I'm white, a lot of friends who aren't express similar sentiments about white people. I've been hurt by white people too, but that doesn't make it their responsibility to coddle me over it.

@sophia @Lanza humans are weird aren't they?...they have feelings and stuff...

@sophia I'll do as if I understood "coddle" correctly.
I really understand your point. I do not say they're right. I try to explain why they behave this way. (And why you won't get rid of them, they're legion…)

Thing is, "white" is not the main differenciating trait of people who hurts you, while they are for your non-white friends. You can easily differentiate from them.

«Man» is the main trait of harassed men's opressor. It's not "women", it's white fuck* cishet men. The very same as yours.

that's the issue with writing in stereotypes though; you might be talking about the trend of the group, but everyone reading it will think it's about them. (not proud of it, but I kinda feel like that as well)

@realtoddhoward one guy gave a full THREE POST not all men
I stg what the fuck

@sophia saying anything negative about a cishet white man is like being responsible for the first scar a kid gets

@realtoddhoward it literally says in the post 'if you don't do it then it isn't about you' and so HMMMM yeah not looking great pals

@sophia @realtoddhoward come on sophia, can you really blame them? We all know men cant read #YesAllMen

@sophia lol this one wasn't even a fish hook

everything you said is all 100% correct and beautifully articulated ♥️

@kew I knew it was gonna happen the second I posted lmao

Thank you! It's a major bugbear of mine

@sophia I’m laughing because of all the white dudes coming into this post to specifically do what you clearly expressed you did not like and then complain about the response they get.

The gross insecurity they are trying to disguise with bravado and humor is both hilarious and sad.

@Are0h I like how they seem to talk as though I haven't heard their points 20 times over, too

@xj9 @sophia LOL, the irony of literally calling someone a 'cunt' unprovoked and then complaining about how people are 'such an ass' these days.

Ha, that's a special kind of delusion.

@sophia Ha, I'm never not amused by how novel they believe themselves to be.

@Are0h the literal 'not all men' was fucking hilarious tho, fair play

@sophia It's gotta be intentional, which makes it worse in a lot of ways, but that's why it's funny. It's all they have.

@sophia men have never learned to bow out gracefully

hardly anyone handles being wrong well, but men… seem, special.

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