I can't stop reading the www.ecocoin.com white paper. Honestly how are we supposed to satirize corporate tech bros when they roast themselves so comprehensively with their own ideas like this

If this weren't real it would truly be the Mona Lisa of tech satire

This is a real thing made by one of the guys behind uber. I could not make this up if you gave me a fucking lifetime to work on it

Show thread

Wait hold up I own two trees but if every tree is an ECO doesn't that mean they own all trees ever

Am I bringing up other people's currency
Fuckin gall of capitalist tech bro wankers

Show thread

@sophia i'm surprised that they don't describe the intentional devaluing of their currency by planting trees as "quantitative treesing"

@sophia going without meat for... a little under a week: exactly as good as installing solar panels

@BestGirlGrace someone would have to be with you to make sure you don't cheat, mind

@sophia I threw a brick at an oil exec and now I'm owed ten million ecobucks. the computers needed to mine all of it are causing more climate change than ever. I tell them to stop, and now I'm owed even more

@BestGirlGrace @sophia

Could you please provide some link on this? I'd like to read a little bit more on this.

@sophia This definitely seems like it was birthed at a "jam pad"

@sophia the Uber stuff is so stupid. And no one sees the wide open bullseye.

Until Uber can offer a bond of assurance to every passenger, they will fall to class-action liability.

@sophia this just looks like capitalism with extra steps.

@sophia just saw “tree owner” in your name and I cackled 🤣

@sophia yes... a closed system, no contingencies. brilliant

@sophia I’m just now catching up on the responses besides yours to mine and vice versa. Lol. It it weren’t so damn dumb at the current time, I could almost see something like this maybe helping.

@sophia If you don't stop with this nonsense I'm going to blockchain myself to a tree

@sophia this is the third currency named "eco", that i heard of, next to en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eco_(c and eco.com/ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

@sophia "If you are a tree owner" is an incredibly funny phrase to me

doubly so because that's not some buzzword, they're talking about the wood things

@BestGirlGrace I own a tree and would like to know when it will beginning paying its own way so I can go to the cinema

@BestGirlGrace @sophia right? I have a few acres I live on. A gift from my late grandfather. Am I wealthy for the hundreds of trees I “own”?.

@sophia "every ECO coin in circulation is backed by a tree"


@theoutrider @sophia through a tree-centric crowd funding cloud. You should look at the impressive list of trees who pledged. We will ship ECO coins to tree starting in November

@sophia which 50% of a roadster do I get? And of course their goto car is a tesla 😂

@spacekookie @sophia Haha I didn't catch that they offered that on the Roadster model, not on a slightly less exuberant daily driver.

Hey kids, wanna be green? Would you like to buy 50% off a racetrack-ready luxury roadster?

@sophia pouring my gas into round containers so it's more circular and thus better for the eco-economy

@sophia that must be the least fun secret bar and club

@sophia I don’t think it is. It looks far more difficult. This is a result of skill and technical ability. ;-)

@jack this is the result of someone introducing their head to their colon and calling it a green initiative

@sophia kinda confused. I reread my comment, and feel as though we may be saying the same thing.

@sophia @jack Look at their awards page. They go back to 2015. Either they have been around doing this since then, or they want to make it seem like they do.

If it's the former, who funds this?

@loke @sophia this likely went through the funding and official recognition steps all cryptos go through. Or well, something similar in name. Most is crowd funding until an International Group delegates the currency valid.
@loke @sophia how does one prove to the money trader that they had a meat free day?
@sophia gonna be an eco inspector. i'm gonna stalk people all day in my gas guzzling car to tell a techbro that that someone had chicken in their lunch but tried to pass it off as tofu. then i'll get paid in a fraction of tree for ratting them out. life is good
yes but unlike paper currency, if i have 1 ecocoin I should be able to walk into the ecocoin mint and exchange my coin for a tree. i think that's how it works

ecocoin, capitalist nonsense 

I assume that "each ECO coin is backed by a tree" means that I can actually redeem them for trees somewhere. That's what backing means in this context, right?

Did they just effectively claim ownership of *every tree on Earth*?

ecocoin, capitalist nonsense 

@frostotron @sophia
I love the assumption that all trees are the same, so my ECO coin is going to be backed by the Fortingall Yew while youse all can have a sapling in a crate outside a shopping centre.

ecocoin, capitalist nonsense 

@frostotron @sophia
I’m not convinced they even asked any trees to get involved with this.

@sophia my eyes opened so wide that when i physically recoiled they fell out onto my phone and landed sqarely on fave and boost

@sophia My brain hurts, this is amazing. Thanks I lovehate it so much

@sophia I retract my previous toot in favor of the following Hitchhiker's Guide reference: ...Are we the Golgafrinchans?

Sign in to participate in the conversation

sparkle sparkle, bitches